Congratulations on your recent acquisition of a male companion aka boyfriend! We are so overjoyed! After mapping out our root-cause analysis, we are very happy that you have finally made it through our action plans successfully.

But that was just phase one!

This concise guide will help you on your way to further your understanding about this wonderful, annoying guy you now call "babe"

1. Guys are toddlers

You probably know this already but I thought we should state the obvious right off the bat: guys are toddlers, no matter how mature they seem. That is just the default mode of the male species. They may appear cute, but do not be fooled by the aura of swagger and self-assuredness. They are children, regardless.

Prepare yourself for fart jokes, messy food, Marvel movies and frequent need of hugs. Seeing as you've already agreed to be in a relationship with one, you must have experienced the brunt of it already.

 Just remember to handle with equal portions of care and straight-up discipline. One thing to remember though: albeit being toddlers, never clean up after his mess--- figuratively or otherwise.

2. Guys are not fortune tellers

Surprise! Guys can't read what's inside your head! Shocking revelation, right? And here we are thinking they should be able to sift through our thoughts like *that*.

Keep in mind that sometimes (read: all the time) you really have to tell them what you're thinking.

Give it to them straight.

Okay, let's practice. Say "I am hungry and I wish you'd stop what your doing so we can get a meal" vs "I'm okay" or *sigh*. See? That wasn't so bad, was it?

3. Guys don't like shopping

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a boy who is shopping with a girl must be in want of a chair to sit in whilst she scours for the perfect pair of shoes. And that is the truth. One may think it a good idea to drag the male companion out for a day of shopping. You are wrong. It is not a good idea. If you are to tag them along, make sure you have enough batteries to last through an entire afternoon of Pokemon Go. Because even if they don't like it, they'll still do it, because they love you.

4. Make sure he spells "I love you" properly

I mean if he can't do it right with words, how can you expect him to do it right in actions?
I mean, which do you prefer?

"I love you" vs "ILY/luvyah/labyu"

Toddlers they may be, but I want my man in possession of good spelling skills.

5. He should be your best friend

You know, I never got those movies where the girl has to choose between her best friend and the guy of her dreams. Newsflash: they should be one and the same and don't you dare settle for less.

 It makes sense, right?

The guy you're with should be someone that you can laugh with, cry with, eat obscene amounts of pizza with. He should be your confidante, your knight-in-shining-armor and your comic relief all rolled into one. He may not be many things, that is for certain. But the lucky bastard who holds your heart should be your bestest friend in the universe.

Haha, I hope this helps!

All the love,

K x

No comments