"Blogging break."

Ka-arte oi.

Early last month, I took a break from KFTI to focus on other endeavors. It was a tough thing to do, since I love writing here so much, but I was swamped with #adulting things that needed attention, so I had to give it up, if only for a bit.

What's weird is that I actually realized some things during the break. Awkward, uncomfortable things that only come when you actually take a step back from what you love. Here are 6 uncomfortable things I realized while taking a break:

1. Creativity can die. 

RIP, bes. 

I've always been a firm believer in marching on, even if you don't feel like it. But there are just those days when you feel so creatively drained. It's like you're dead inside. You wanna bang your head on the table and force that pen to write something on a blank sheet of paper but nothing comes out. Just, nada. Zilch. 

Then you end up watching too much Wildflower and berate yourself for doing it. All you can come up with are half-assed jobs. 

It can be frustrating. Daily life can take its toll on creativity and it's very tiring. 

2. Sometimes taking a break is the best thing that you can do.

But the good news is it can be reborn from the ashes! 

That's what I got from this break. A clean slate. A fresher mind. It renewed my energies and it's wonderful. Sometimes it's okay to take a step back. Look at things from another perspective. 

Focus is something that I'm not good at. When I took a break and stepped back, I saw the bigger picture and a clearer vision of what this blog is really about and where it's headed. And I'm glad for that.

3. I have more time. And more experiences. I just don't blog about them.

Sometimes, I get unnecessary pressure from that term "blogger". It's stupid, I know. Because people use the term "blogger", I feel that everything I do has to be documented, for some reason. That every place that I go should be taken note of, that every little thing must be Instagram-worthy, even if that isn't what I'm about. 

And you know what? 

That could sap the energy out of you. Drain you straight out. When I took a break, that pressure went away. I went to places and did a lot of interesting things that didn't have to be documented or posted or be hashtagged. I realized it shouldn't even have existed in the first place. Stupid me. 

4. Social media is just a tool.

With that in mind, I realized that social media shouldn't dictate your life. Social media is great, but at the end of the day, it's just a tool, really. A useful tool, but just that. While your stats can be used to measure your performance, you shouldn't use it to measure your worth at all.

5. People actually like the stuff I write.

While taking a break from KFTI, I had more time to focus on other writing projects. And what's funny is that I got a lot of feedback from people saying that they actually love the stuff that I write. It was the good kind of uncomfortable, because one, I don't think people read my stuff lol. Second, it was kind affirming. I don't get that feeling often, but I am grateful for it.

6. I'm a writer, not a blogger.

That's when I realized that I'm not really a "blogger". Not how we label bloggers here, at least. Locally, we tend to associate bloggers with events and press releases and sponsored posts. All that is well and good, but it...just didn't feel like me, you know? While I love to write about a new cafe on the corner or a book store, I really feel more in my element when I'm writing about things that make you think or feel or laugh, just like the one about the 11 ugly things about Cebu. I love writing about stories of my hometown, of love lost and found and other things.

I'm a writer through and through. 

Because even when the blog was on a break, I found myself writing anyway and I loved doing it. KFTI is a blog, but I'm a writer. That's what I realized so far. It's simple, but profound in its own way.

It was an uncomfortable realization. But also a liberating one. It made me realize where I want to take KFTI and focus on the kind of content I want to publish. :) 

And with that, I am so very glad to say that I am back!

Stay tuned for more stuff! I'm so excited to share them all. :)

All the love,

K x

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