Welcome to Part 2 of our root cause analysis on why the perfect girl is still single. You can read part one here.
Hi, Perfect Girl.
How are we faring with finding thy one true gugma? Any prince charmings found in the rough yet?
Well, maybe the prince charmings are out there, they just think you're just a tall order. Too demanding, too many wants. Out of his league.
But if he really wants you he'll do anything to deserve you right?
Expectation: He should do everything to deserve me, because I'm worth it
Of course.
Every girl is always worth the time and effort of every guy that comes within her radar.
You deserve a gentleman. He should treat you perfectly. He should have a list of all the food you want to eat when you're hungry. He should know the reasons why you aren't texting him. He should pick you up from work. He should wear all the nice clothes you saw at Top Man because it looks so good on him. You have to be matchy-matchy when you go out. And God forbid if doesn't he know the flavor of milk tea you want when you're having a bad day!
He should be at your every beck and call and would go all out, sweep you off your feet with grand gestures--- fireworks, errands, the whole nine yards.
Sometimes we wonder, does the Perfect Girl need a boyfriend, or a man-servant?
Reality: Guys don't exist to grant your every wish
If you wanted a wish-granting machine, you might as well date a genie. Or Santa Claus. Or Hugh Hefner, maybe.
The truth is, if you want to be in it for the long haul, you have to stop treating guys like they're your butlers. Sure, every girl deserves effort in guys. We love it when they put their best foot forward. It gives us the warm and fuzzies. But you have to realize that for relationships to last, you have to be a team. And you have to play your part.
Guys need encouragement. Pats in the back. Spare shirts for soccer games. Saucy chicken wings and sloppy pizza when they're having a bad day.
If you're just with him because it's convenient for you and your errands, I don't think you should be in a relationship. If that's what you only want in a guy, then I suggest you go post a listing at Jobstreet for a katabang. There's less casualties that way. Stop wasting the poor boy's time, energy, budget and feelings. I know you're special hon, but you're not that special.
When your mom said that relationships are about give and take, they weren't shitting you. You can't just be the one who keeps on receiving. You gotta give back the love that you've been given too.
What do they call it in math? Reciprocation.
Root-Cause Of Singleness:
Inability to reciprocate feelings of affection due to the belief that "boys should be the one to make effort to deserve me"
Action Plan:
Make yourself worth that boy's effort, too.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Ha! Should we go for Part 3?
Stay tuned.
All the love,
K x
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