THE 10 GUYS YOU WILL MEET IN SINULOG

January 17, 2016


Often, I have been asked by well-meaning friends this most difficult question: "Krish, nganung wa pa man koy uyab?"
 I  never know the answer. 
What I do know is that there is an increased probability that you will find your one true love in the streets of Ubec this weekend. What better place to scout for your potential wagas na pag-ibig than in the country's biggest party?
Here are at least 10 guys that you will bump into this Sinulog.


1. The Camera Guy

Natural Habitat: The Basilica or the parade route on the lookout for subjects (and chix, sometimes)

He is obvs the one with at least 4 cameras attached to his body, along with a special parade pass, tripods, a funny umbrella hat and sometimes, a ladder. The camera guy is loads artistic and his photography skills will assure you of pretty selfies in the future. The only hadlang to your everlasting gugma is this: his sole purpose of attending Sinulog is to capture the best photo EVER for the Sinulog photo contest, so unless you are Festival Queen or a solemn-looking devotee lovingly holding an image of the Senior, you don't stand a chance at getting camera guy's attention during Sinulog .


2. The Tugsh2 Guy

Natural Habitat: Baseline and big vacant lots where tugsh2 are held

Tugsh2 guy loves good fun during this festive season. He is the cute one with the Cool New White (And Gisi-gisi) Sinulog Shirt which he purchased for the purpose of making it dirty. He loves splashing random people with paint, beer or both and  is the one shouting "Pit Senor!" at the top of his lungs. He may or may not know what it means. Anyways,
he was devastated of the news that parties were prohibited, because who doesn't love parties, right?Who doesn't love it? If you share his spirit for prititit and parties then you and Tugsh2 Guy have a bright and colorful-as-poster paint future together. But if you hate the smell of beer on your clothes or  the crowd at Baseline looks like the apocalypse and you'd rather stay at home watching Rated K, then most likely you won't even meet at all.


3. The NSTP Guy

Natural habitat: Procession Routes

Perhaps the unluckiest guy during Sinulog, NSTP guy is tasked to go on crowd control duties during the Grand Parade and is forced to link arms with his other classmates, forming a barrier of college freshmen against the rest of us Sinulog-goers. Poor NSTP guy is left under the heat of the motherloving Cebu sun, which seriously messes up his game because who likes sweaty guys unless they're James Reid, right? Unless, of course, he's the hottest guy in school and you're the one standing next to him the whole day and he manages to smell humot, then why not?

PS This guy is obvs too young for you, anyways. :P

4. The Artista Guy

Natural Habitat: The floats

Pit Senor, kang Daniel Matsunaga kini. Sinulog is when the artistas come to town and wave at us mere humans from their floats. True love with  Alden Richards may seem like a long shot but prayers come true for those who believe.

5. The Tourist Guy

Natural Habitat: The streets, holding a map and a hat and probably doesn't speak Bisaya

Tourists book our hotels solid during Sinulog. What are the chances of you bumping into a goodlooking out-of-towner who has no idea what to do during the festival? What are the chances of you showing him around and having fun and hanging out? What are the chances that you'd keep in touch? What are the chances of you having a forever?

Slim to none, but a girl can dream, right?


6. The Booth Guy

Natural Habitat: Where drinking water is sold

The Booth guy views Sinulog as an excellent business opportunity. People everywhere! So, logically he's the guy who sells bottled water, snacks, whistles, shirts, umbrellas, fans, hats and glow-in-the-dark devil horns, among things. The booth guy literally has everything you need during Sinulog. But don't engage in small talk during the lunch rush hour, customers are in line and he's losing profit because you are making pa-cute.  Come back later when he has ginansya na. :)


7. The  Henna guy

Natural Habitat: 

 Like Booth Guy, Henna Guy views Sinulog as excellent business, because it is that one time in the year where people actually want to get henna tattoos, even if it's against their school rules or if it gets really annoying when it starts to fade. You gotta give Henna Guy props for having a steady hand and the talent to make you look like a badass for at least 24-48 hours. Just don't make a drunken mistake of letting him tattoo your ex-boyfriend's name onto your arm.

8. The Muni2 Guy

Natural Habitat: Where the booze is

Muni-muni guy is basically an upgraded version of Tugsh2 Guy. He equates Sinulog to non-stop drinking and is hellbent on punishing his liver for things that it doesn't deserve. He may or may not be the stuff of your romance novel daydreams, depending on his abs and his actual personality when he is not inebriated. Personally not finding this guy too attractive, especially when you see photos of them passed out on the streets the morning after. IDK, if you like a good drink, he may be your cup of tea, or, well, Red Horse for that matter. Just remember to please drink responsibly!

9. The Sto Nino Guy

Natural Habitat: The Basilica

He is the good guy who got 9/9 novenas straight, and who believes that the Child Jesus is the reason for the season. There's not a lot of partying for this guy; he follows the procession and knows the lyrics to the Gozos way beyond the chorus. You like looking at him waving his hands at the Sto Nino and when you pray, you pray to God to please let this be your Sinulog miracle because you're tired of dating aw olark guys. Here's to high hopes *and to him not giving his life to the seminary*


10. The Fireworks Guy

Natural Habitat: Sa imung heart

You've seen the costumes and the floats and heard the drums and the whistles. You're paint-splattered and dirty and have subsisted on roadside snacks for far too long. Your feet hurt and your left tsinelas is about to give up.

Just one last hurrah before the day ends: fireworks.

This is how this guy makes you feel. The bright and funny one who lights everything up in your life. He is your thrill and comfort all at the same time. He's the one who completes your day, and yeah, the one who makes your heart shagit ug kusug.


Aw, I hope you find what you're looking for!


Pit Señor everyone! :)

@krishafromtheisland

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